Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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