'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
whose ass print is on the piano?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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