Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
