She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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