no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
