nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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