She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
