Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
