I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize