i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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