Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
