We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
