4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
