Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
