I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
