Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
