idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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