Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
