This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?