Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"