There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
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What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"