just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
