he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
