He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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