I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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