Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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