I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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