We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
