I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is Oprah even human
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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