Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
