I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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