I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We are all done wearing pants today
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
