Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
