I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
