what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
