at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
