I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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