i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
