Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
