My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize