No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
