Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Randomize
