Porn is love you can see.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
