I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Pappa wants mamma naked
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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