Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
