I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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