Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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