just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
