i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
