i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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