Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So. Much. Porn.
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