i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
