But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's never too late to be topless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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