Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
