I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You ruined the universe
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize