they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
