This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
