2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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