my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
