so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
