I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
