Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
