I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
