are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
