So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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