so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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